@michaelianblack: Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
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@KattsDogma: French guy (showing me his yachts): This is Un. This is Deux. This is Trois. This is Quatre. This is Six. Me: Where's the 5th? FG: Cinq.
@_Tempo11: Told my dog it's too cold to go for a walk and he just saw one from the window and now I'm a liar.
@dragonsorbet: Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body
@NintenDom: I bet the first guy to pee on someone's jellyfish sting was NOT trying to help them.