@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.
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@dafloydsta: [on a date] *wonders if she'll steal my fries while I use the restroom* *shakes Magic 8 ball* "YES" *takes plate of fries with me*
@DirtMcTurd: Geico commercials should just show pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes and say "people like this are out there."
@Sickayduh: "Nice place!" Mmmehh "Hungry?" Mmmehh "You look nice." Mmmehh "DO I EVEN MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?" Mmmehh "Mom told me not to date a goat."