@MsLighthouseCat: Sometimes I treat my depression, but other times we go dutch.
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@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally
@dumbbeezie: I deserve an Oscar for acting like I can see a baby when someone shows me an ultrasound pic
@zachreinert03: One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious