@hythemafia: Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.......
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@lazerdoov: *on a first date* Her: so nice to finally be out with someone normal Me: aw thanks *turns to the waiter* Me: do you have pony meat
@PinkCamoTO: The "we're going to need a bigger boat" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store.
@dinnersruined: *hands you a marijuana* "This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."