@RandiLawson: Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.
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@MarkAgee: I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.
@hasht4g: I wonder how long it will be before "You look like a million bucks" is an insult. #inflation
@PopSlapFunk: Lucy plans elaborate jewel heist. Lucy dons cat burglar suit to conceal identity. Lucy pulls off heist. Lucy in disguise with diamonds.
@nigelgodwin: My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them