@RandiLawson: Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sarcasticsapien: Most Trump supporters favorite Disney character is the hunter who shot Bambi's mom and we all know it.
@Tbone7219: Tweets a cocaine joke gets 120 favorites & a trophy Post a cocaine joke on Facebook & gets 170 "we are praying for you" & an intervention.
@Carbosly: If there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm becoming a zombie. Walking around doing nothing & eating non-stop seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.