@RandiLawson: Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.
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@SteveDutzy: I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs.
@Sassafrantz: Out of all the children's stories, Goldilocks is the most ridiculous. How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony? smh
@therealeatwood: NARRATOR: Here we see the gentle reindeer gamboling in the woods… DASHER: [pushing stack of Xmas cookies] Raise NARRATOR: I SAID GAMBOLING