@Carbosly: Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could hit 8 colleagues at once.
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@KentWGraham: I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
@HumanPog: *gets to heaven* omg grandpa!! grandpa: *charging at me* you wore a jean jacket to my funeral you piece of shit
@JohnCleese: Hotel Security just knocked on my door to deliver a package. He asked for indentification. I showed him my book,with my name and face on it