@MeetYourDaddy: Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.
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@TeaPainUSA: Mike Huckabee calls Obama a "pretend Christian", and if anyone's an expert on "pretend Christians", it's Mike Huckabee.
@robdelaney: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
@brandonIee: If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you
@jakob_huber: We built this community from the ground up as opposed to choosing a point in the air and building downwards from there.