@MeetYourDaddy: Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.
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@MakeYourBedlam: I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, "Optimus Prime? Your table for 5 is ready!"
@AbbyHasIssues: I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 30 minutes over time.
@vladchoc: Having sex is like riding a bike. Specifically, like that scene in Pee-wee's Big Adventure where everyone in the world has a bike except you