@Tmoney68: Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow.

@TheMichaelRock: Why is everyone mad at Kim Davis? Nobody in the government does their job.

@lazerdoov: Call your boring friend Simon, "Sighmon" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers.

@GrowlyGrego: Dear Abby, My pastor insists that being gay is wrong, yet he ends all his letters with the words "In Him" Help! Perplexed in Poughkeepsie

@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!