@hpb777: Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
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@ChaseMit: Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook.
@Sickayduh: Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him
@SortaBad: Just finished my book about how to get laid at bars. It's called The Girl With the Lower-Back Tattoo.
@xysist: Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.