@hpb777: Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
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@MentalAbortions: I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about stupid when they told you, "If you got it flaunt it."
@Jeffro_: I get high before I get my Drivers License pic taken. That way I look normal if I'm pulled over.
@AndyAsAdjective: My daughter has recently become deathly afraid of our cat. So I'm going to have to get rid of her. At least I'll have my cat to comfort me.