@hpb777: Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
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@mustachewine: I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached.
@ericsshadow: I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a "ghost" and end up as a "drunk ghost that needs a ride home."
@sammyrhodes: Saying a prayer for all the turkeys tomorrow. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
@Parentpains: She said she was burning with desire, so I threw a bucket of water at her. Dating is bullshit.