@EliTerry: Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life.
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@AdamUrbane: This hammock is the most relaxing thing I've ever had slingshot me point blank into the ground.
@SkinnerSteven: That old expression: "hold the phone!" doesn't work anymore because everyone is already doing that
@yendys1: Oh you like Oreos? Name five of their albums. And I'm talking their obscure shit like watermelon, none of this main stream birthday cake shi
@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*