@TheTweetOfGod: Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
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@internetluke: [Jaden Smith at aquarium] "...any questions?" Do Crabs Think Fish Can Fly? "No" What If Our Air Is Just Bird Water? "Huh" How Can Birds Be R
@Carbosly: Do you have FB? No Do you have Twitter? No Instagram? No What do you have? A life. ... ... Can I have it? No. I need it to play Candy Crush.
@ConanOBrien: One time I wore my brother's t-shirt, and my dad asked if I was dressing up as his favorite child for Halloween.
@Vodkantots: It's like my mother always told me, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Then she said I looked fat.