@iscoff: Sometimes if you say "Wow, you're tall!" to a tall person they realize they're tall for the first time and thank you with cash
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@AnOrangeSNES: *Buys a bunch of wooden letters* Cashier: Feeling crafty? Me: Nope, just trying to make a name for myself.
@trentistweeting: [first date] ME: one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think the world revolves around them MY DATE, WHO IS THE SUN: i see
@ProdigyNelson: Me: hey girl r u an earthquake Her: aw bc I rock ur world? Me: no bc your unpredictability threatens the entire foundation of my existence
@_Jkriegs: A street preacher told me that gays cause floods, & my first reaction was to call my friend Ben & ask him what other rad shit he could do