@six_2_and_even: Sometimes I’ll break into a house to turn down a thermostat
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@Jenn_H_Scott: My 8yo just asked my permission to say "shit" to express his anger, so don't tell me I'm not raising a polite kid.
@lauraleeksmith: No thanks lady, I don't need a tray I'll just use my four hands to carry all these coffee's
@TheToddWilliams: [dinner, my place] "This tastes like pork?" ME: You asked for a nice swine "No, a nice wine" ME: Oh, okay…you still want the crap cakes?
@pittdave13: For the last time I said CAULK, I need black CAULK. This isn't funny, what isle is it in