@ComedicBust: Sometimes I'll casually say "what else do you want?" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me.
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@Nickadoo: America. Where assault weapons will protect your family, but two dudes getting married will destroy your family.
@InstaTrent: A vegan girl told me that, "If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor." In what world is that not totally awesome.
@thestlouisan: *Plots revenge by getting a job at a fast food restaurant and waiting for nemesis to drive thru and not putting a straw in their bag*