@McNevich: Sometimes I'll flush a few slices of pizza down the toilet just to let the Ninja Turtles know I miss them
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@krautsider: If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today that she forgot her mobile at home. You're welcome.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Wake up 5-year-old: Me: We’re late 5: Me: The house is on fire 5: Me: Your sister touched your stuff 5: *barrel rolls out of bed*
@unburdenunbound: Google would like to use your current location. Allow/Deny? Allow *100 Google employees throw a party at my house*