@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell "THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!" until I'm kicked out
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@nayele18: Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it.
@chrischromak: trump: u gave hillary 3 scoops of ice cream & i only got 2 icecream guy: u ate the first scoop already trump: ive never eaten ice cream ever
@notacroc: [date] Her: so you're a mathematician? Me: no actually I'm a *pythagorean doves fly out of my sleeve and hit her in the face* mathemagician