@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell "THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!" until I'm kicked out
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@ShittyComedian: Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, "Did you bring the lube?" As loud as possible.
@PaigeKellerman: Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling "The laptop's not a touch screen," at my kids.