@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell "THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!" until I'm kicked out
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@MrMildSauce: Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you've done with the place.
@TheRobCee: "I need a car. What do you have?" "Well, we have a Subaru Outback" "But what kind of Subaru?" "Outback" "I don't CARE where you keep it..."
@DrDogMD: NURSE: ur concerned about ur patient huh? Youve been pacing in circles for 10 mins DR DOG: haha no im just trying to find a spot to lie down
@TheMongoose69: Had to get sticky tape and gift tags surgically removed from my body at the hospital... Proving once again that white guys can't wrap.