@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.
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@NurseSeymour: Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
@Teeter_Totter: I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul.
@AnOrangeSNES: Yes Pony Express? I ordered a pony 27 minutes ago and I still didn't get it. What kind of fast food joint do you run here?
@VeganZebra: [Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help