@MouthyMess: Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go "Oh, this is where I get off" then close my eyes & stick my hand in my pants.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theshantilly: Me: I want cozy pajama pants for Christmas. Him: I was gonna get lingerie. Me: Trust me. VS won't have your size. Him: Me: *jazz hands*
@JediGigi: Robber: Give me your valuables Me: *hands him piece of paper* Robber: What's this? Me: My Netflix password.
@lazerdoov: I bought "extra whitening" toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English