@MouthyMess: Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go "Oh, this is where I get off" then close my eyes & stick my hand in my pants.
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@TheAlexP: *getting escorted out of a Chuck E. Cheese* Listen buddy, This beer told me I could dance.
@frankzulla: You ever rub yourself with tuna and go to a cat shelter to seem like you're a cat whisperer? Doc: We're gonna need a bigger straightjacket.