@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes I'll stop the treadmill at the gym and run in place. When people ask me what I'm doing, I'll say, "Pretend stoplight."
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@brennadine: It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside.
@PaperWash: Alien: We've returned, show us what you built with our technology Egyptians: ... Aliens: ... Egyptians: ok don't be mad
@flashember: Wife: Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! Me: Haha funny. [under the mattress] Bed Bug King: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL *tiny drums bang*
@tchrquotes: I always take a different store's tote bags when I go grocery shopping so they don't get the idea we're exclusive or anything.