@TheSeanBrewster: Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like "this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."
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@lovemydogduck: The best way to tell someone you don't like them is to text them 370HSSV 0773H and tell them to read it upside down.
@RandomManik: -So how can we help you today Mr Benson? "Please. Mr Benson was my father." -Alright. So how can we help you today Mr Bensonson?
@hpb777: Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
@katy_fit: Remember kids, don't light your own fireworks. Have the adults who have been drinking all damn day do it.