@SonOfCha: Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
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@professor_eks: If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides.
@timdonakowski: Starting a new job today. I’m not sure what company, but it’s wherever this lady with the giant box of donuts is going.
@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.