@SonOfCha: Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnkCoupleTO: *at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.
@heyevergreen: Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Walk around the party eating the cheeseball like an apple.
@JennyPentland: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'.