@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.
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@the_anastasia: "Are you working right now? Where are you working?" Facebook is worse than my parents.
@AtticusFinch79: [date] Me: Wanna watch Star Wars? Him: No interest, before my time. Me *pretending to choke him with my mind* Him: What're you doing?
@withanewname: [shopping] [wife being a real pain] Me: *hands her the broom we just bought* You want me to carry this? Or do you want to drive it home?