@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*
@ItsAndyRyan: *kissing on small couch* Her: We should have a threes- Me: I'll call Karen Her: ...three-seater. Karen? Me: I believe Karen sells furniture
@GrandadJFreeman: In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.