@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@semple42: There's this woman in my office who is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and she reeks of tequi......ok it's me.
@DaddyJew: [on the phone with an ex while violently twisting and stabbing a voodoo doll] Are you sure you're ok?
@ZackBornstein: I can't remember a time in my life when an update for Acrobat Reader wasn't available.