@1Happytwit: Sometimes it's not about missing someone, it's about reloading and trying again.
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@Thynebear: Teacher: You can do anything you set your mind to [I try to sneak outta class but somehow mess up the pull door twice] Except maybe that guy
@HatfieldAnne: I feel like movies exaggerate men’s enthusiasm for having meaningful conversations while playing pool.
@superdadatron: Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
@brandonIee: Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now