@TEAMP2007: Sometimes my kid likes me, but I'm pretty sure it's only because I'm his Oreo dealer.
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@caliraingirl: 'Why are they arresting that dog?!? What did he do?!?' --my 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car
@Brentweets: I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular
@GrandadJFreeman: Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.