@Bandersnaaatch: Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery.
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@prontopup: What do we want? A cure for short-term memory loss! When do we want it? When do we want what?
@KyleMcDowell86: DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
@Elizasoul80: [alien taking notes] Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee.
@dafloydsta: [bank robbery] "Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY