@Bandersnaaatch: Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery.
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@Brampersandon_: [2 friends fighting at Denny's] Chicken: *gritting teeth* I'll have the bacon Pig: *staring down the chicken* And I'll be having the EGGS!
@Beerhaze: Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!
@zdarsky: I want a SPIDERMAN GO app where I have to get pictures of spiderman for a furious j jonah jameson
@ddsmidt: Remember don't judge, you never know what another person is going through Unless they're constantly oversharing on Facebook, then go ahead