@aparnapkin: Sometimes my stomach will make a noise and my brain will be like ok I never signed off on that
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
@Bob_Janke: If you spend "up to $9000" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by.
@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife