@SarahFemme: Sometimes people suck the life out of me like there's a prize at the bottom.
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@BuckyIsotope: UBER DRIVER: Where to ME: One sec. Siri, where the best place to dispose of an uber driver’s body SIRI: The bog ME: nearest bog please
@Tmoney68: Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said "We do our business in your mouth" and I haven't stopped laughing.