@TheTweetOfGod: Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word, but usually it's antidisestablishmentarianism.
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@foodfacenow: At his funeral. I lay my hand on your shoulder. I apply pressure, gently, in an attempt to move you from in front of the snack table.
@MollyERA: "IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--" "stop rapping, Grandma" "--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"
@BonaFideIntent: Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist