@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'
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@ThaJawn: Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes
@ShoutingGoddess: One day we'll open Twitter & it'll just say: Thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed this social experiment. Now apologise to your loved ones.
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.
@lovemyboots111: Apparently asking the boss " who ignited the fuse on your tampon?" will get you sent to HR.