@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'
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@MikeBigby: [Airport security supervillain screening] AGENT: Spell 'haha' ME: OK, 'M',-- AGENT: ur under arrest
@themiltron: FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren’t wish— M: Second book’s a TV.
@kelkulus: When I'm bored on a plane, I pull a random machine part out of my pocket and ask the person next to me "Do you know where this came from?"