Sometimes u see the moon during the day and it’s like, wow, how embarrassing. Showed up early because you were bored? Get a life, nerd moon.

@ehdannyboy: "40 is the new 30!" My dad always used to say. Lovely man. Banned from driving.

1

@badbanana: Nice try, Clooney "wedding." I know a casino heist when I see one.

@moxieblogger: If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground.

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@Cidisn: *sees a racoon in the neighbor's trash* I won't say anything if you don't. *continues rummaging*

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@BrandonEsWolf: Why would you want to be part of the problem when you can be the entire problem?

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