@crushingbort: sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much they decide to bring a tiny shitting bald man screaming into the world
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@jbillinson: Biden: I think if we just leave a small- Obama: No Biden: Just a small Mouse Trap inspired- Obama: No booby traps, Joe
@hipsterocracy: People shit on Columbus like they've never knocked on the wrong door and then murdered the people inside and lived there.
@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
@Bob_Janke: A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and he says it's so when I'm eating prairie grasses I can see predators