@crushingbort: sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much they decide to bring a tiny shitting bald man screaming into the world
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@OfficialMizGin: I’m not afraid of spiders. I’m afraid of people who are afraid of spiders. Please stop screaming and put down the hammer.
@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
@FrogAvalanche: [two atoms side-to-side on a DNA chain] "Hi." "Hi. U look familiar. Were u on A3564β before it went supernova?" "Yes." "U still owe me $20."