@fuzzlime: sometimes when I finish eating a bag of microwave popcorn I try to eat a couple unpopped kernels just to convince myself it's really over
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@BradBroaddus: It really creeps me out the way my neighbor stares at me when I'm looking through her window.
@Sassafrantz: [public restroom] Me: We'll have to go some place else, it says "unavailable" Mom: Even the toilet found someone before you
@SteveKoehler22: My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing "How Great Thou Art"