@fuzzlime: sometimes when I finish eating a bag of microwave popcorn I try to eat a couple unpopped kernels just to convince myself it's really over
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@Home_Halfway: The Olympics are my favorite 3 week event where I get to harshly judge people way better than me.
@TeflonPawn: Obviously the Asian gentleman I saw flush the urinal with a karate kick doesn't mind perpetuating stereotypes.
@shariv67: Got so wasted last night, had to take a train home. And now I can't figure out how to return it.
@priya_ebooks: o yeah u love women??? name their last three albums. thought so. u don't listen to women