@TheAlexP: Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell "Thank You "just to leave them hanging.
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@markedly: Friend: Dude, you need to get into her pants. Me: [imagining how soft her leggings would feel over my thighs] YES
@Storminika: Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can't do is pick up it's own poop. You're just a poop collector.
@VectorBelly: I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane.
@VerifiedJayy: My son: do kids that get bullied go to college? Me: no they go to the police academy