@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree
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@thepunningman: Dr: your father is real sick Woman: [sobbing] how long? [her dad wheelies past on a bmx] Dr: almost six yards that time
@koalaslament: put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man.
@TheCatWhisprer: Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.