@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree
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@Momtoteens: Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.
@envydatropic: I passed a sofa on the expressway on my way to work..... I've never wanted to pull over so bad in my entire life
@shesananteater: Cathy on FB is "feeling annoyed" and is asking why people even own cell phones if they're not gonna answer. Can I tell her? Pleeease.