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@eTHEgoddess: Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax.
@SirEviscerate: *accidentally uses flash while trying to take pic of funny looking person on the bus*
*makes distant thunder noises with mouth*
@meganamram: Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.
@unravelingfire: Are we sure this new planet isn't just Pluto wearing a wig?
@SteveSuckington: What she said: wanna share some nachos?
What I heard: wanna race to see who can eat the most nachos?
@bingowings14: Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me.