@eTHEgoddess: Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax.
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@simoncholland: My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.
@ShesARealGenius: ME: Brad's here HUSBAND: Brad who needs space or Brad who's paranoid about being murdered? BRAD: OMG u 2 are smothering me ME: I've no idea
@Audenary: DAD: Think an earthquake's coming. MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know. DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more.
@Go2Slp: Mufasa didn't die, he just went out for a pack of smokes and a newspaper. - The Lyin' King