@eTHEgoddess: Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax.
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@Home_Halfway: SON: Dad what is that? ME: *Trying to remember the name of a whale* Boy that's a sea moose
@WheelTod: On your first day at the beach, go up to the toughest-looking guy there, and let the air out of his water-wings.
@GianDoh: The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.
@UnFitz: Her: You ate that entire bag of fried cheese snacks? Him: Thought you said they were baked. Her: I said YOU were baked.