@krisv_723: Sometimes when I'm driving I'm overcome with an urge to run into an overpass pillar. Anyway, I'm Kris & I'll be your Uber driver.
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@iGreenMonk: I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background.
@CulturedRuffian: Mom: You can't have cookies for breakfast! Me: Why? Mom: Have something healthy-here, eat these chocolate chip pancakes with syrup instead
@UnicornSyrup: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
@Marlebean: Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband.