@bfrosty04: Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OffTheHutch: "So send me a picture of you..." *sends* "Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."
@jimmytorosian: *Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*
@o__0Dev: I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
@shutupmikeginn: Advantage of seeing a goose: you just saw something interesting my friend. Disadvantage: next goose experience less meaningful