@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes when I'm sitting in a swivel chair, I'll turn around quickly and smile and pretend I'm in the opening credits of a sitcom
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@ArfMeasures: [court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record
@topaz_kell: Exposing myself to different cultures has an entirely different meaning than I thought. *puts trench coat back on*
@Elizasoul80: Him: I wonder if this dealership is open. Me: Are you stupid? The parking lot is full.
@Shock_Monster: Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words.