@RunwayDan: Sometimes when life closes one door it opens another, because apparently life is trying to air condition the whole damned neighborhood.
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@Dawn_M_: When people are kissing in public, it's weird how angry they get when you try and join in.
@Junk_Boat: She told me she "literally died laughing," and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face.
@david8hughes: [board meeting] "So Mr Parachute do u have a name for your invention?" "I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'." "Uh no."