@CindyBegel: Sometimes when my cat is sitting on a chair, I sneak up, shake the chair hard, yelling, "EARTHQUAKE!" Sadly, like many, she's not prepared
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@Spaziotwat: Survivor 1: "Help! I can't swim! I'm drowning!" Survivor 2: "I have a buoy, friend."
@shatterpants: I like to tell people "it's a black thing, you wouldn't understand."And they'd be all "but you're white" I told ya you wouldn't understand.