@BackrowSeats: Sometimes you have to make a stand. Not there though. You're blocking the TV.
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@_troyjohnson: Children grow an average of 2.5 inches a year. All of that growth happens in the 24 hours after you buy them new clothes.
@MomOfTeen: Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Padre: What is your sin, my child? Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .
@LaceyNycole: Girl: I can't wait to have kids! I babysit so I pretty much know what it's like to be a parent. It'll be easy. Me: *laughs for 20 minutes*