@BackrowSeats: Sometimes you have to make a stand. Not there though. You're blocking the TV.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CelticMoonDance: I'm beginning to question your proclamation of your "spiritual gifts". You are about as intuitive as my autocorrect.
@SteveSuckington: [quietly opens a beer] Funeral Director: seriously?! Me: oh sorry [reaches into cooler and hands him one]
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?
@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.