@SonofConway: Sometimes you have to stop tweeting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
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@JoParkerBear: It's like my Grandma always says, "I died three years ago. This is starting to get weird."
@sixfootcandy: My waxer just told me a hilarious story about ripping out a client's tampon during a bikini wax. I guess she doesn't remember me.
@Priscilla_YEAH: Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand".