@SonofConway: Sometimes you have to stop tweeting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
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@genehunter1: What kind of name for a storm is "Debby?" Hurricanes should have names like "Satan" No one should have their house destroyed by "Heather."
@bridger_w: I bet Adam and Eve loved being the first people cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts
@UncleDuke1969: *pulls up pants* Me: It feels like I've got the world's worst wedgie! Proctologist: That's normal. M: ... P: Hey... Have you seen my glove?