@LambyMcSheeps: Sometimes you need a little distance to see things clearly, but other times it is obviously a bear and you should probably just run
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@TEXASVETERAN: My dad annoyed my mom calling her "Mother of 7" until the day she called him "Father of 4".
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the night of the 3rd?" Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape?" Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.
@RobElliottComic: Uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh huh Me, Rap battling
@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.