@TheWadest: Somewhere, a ninja watches "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." An imperceptible smile creeps across his lips. "Damn right you didn't."
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@TheTobbie: Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle...
@SamDeLanche: 7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check? Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.
@Jack_Wagon1: Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing.