@TheWadest: Somewhere, a ninja watches "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." An imperceptible smile creeps across his lips. "Damn right you didn't."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@snack_lord: Spider Can, Spider Can, bunch of spiders in a can. Shake it up, spiders mad, open it, they bite your hand. Look out! I have a spider can
@Jack_Wagon1: Sometimes when I get a retweet... I blow on my phone, twirl it and slide it into my belt holster, then ride off into the sunset like a dork.
@MartaEffing: [Puzzle Group Therapy] Crossword: Just once, someone use a pen! Sudoku: Nobody likes math. Jigsaw: ..Then they glued me together! *sobs*
@realHamOnWry: You can lead a horse to water, but you have to work really, really hard to get him up on water skis.