@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: COWORKER: how old is our boss? ME: cut him in half & count the rings CW: doesn't that only work on trees? ME: *over chainsaw noises* HE'S 38
@jonnysun: why do birds sudenly appear every time you are near and how do u always manage to fit that many birds in ur mouth to begin with
@ImOnlineLol: remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot