@juneohara65: Somewhere in my brain is a tiny gland that blinds me to unwashed dishes.
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@batkaren: Dinosaurs never could've survived til the present day. Could you imagine a stegosaurus in a Honda Civic? It'd be totally ridiculous in 2017.
@TheToddWilliams: [Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force
@mostunladylike: He leans in, looks into my eyes, and lowers the lights. I go in for the kiss. And now I'm being escorted out of the opticians.
@MikeOdenthal: Think about how many variations of apple there would be had they not mercy-killed the pineapple guy before he could name more fruits