@KKAlThani: Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of a place she went to in the past with a caption that says "take me back </3"
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@OctopusCaveman: Apparently, if a cop tells you to do something, you’re supposed to do it even if he doesn’t say “Simon says.”
@botandy: when I see a Facebook relationship status 'it's complicated' I imagine love through wormholes over tens of thousands of years, alien biology
@Dis0beyJay: [ First Date ] Her: So you're a MMA fighter? * flashback to me kickboxing a mannequin at Nordstrom's * Me: Yea, I'm still training
@Nickadoo: Ann Coulter has managed to stay so thin because the last solid meal she ate was Hansel and Gretel.