@KKAlThani: Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of herself saying "Not looking good today" after deleting the first 50 pictures she took
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@mlkef: Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero.
@sarcasticmommy4: I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.
@ChaseMit: Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook.
@shariv67: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.