@JasonLastname: Somewhere there's a person named Current Resident who has to read every piece of junk mail.
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@MrsTomServo: I like when a restaurant has cloth napkins, 'cause then I can unroll them with the calculated fervor of an assassin surveying his tools.
@Book_Krazy: Accidentally got in the 10 items or less line with 11 items again, so I made two separate transactions so I wouldn't piss anyone off.
@CruisinSoozan: Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex. The monkey's name is Earl. He bites.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: Let's role-play ME: OK W: U be a teacher *I get up & leave* W: Where u going? M: Do u have ANY idea how much paperwork I've got to do?